I was infancy
A blossoming white lilac
Innocence, purity incarnate
All I knew was him,
My world he was
I adored my reflection in his pupils
A smile on his face was my nirvana
****
Nevertheless, being with him a dream was
Me on top of his shoulders,
Swaying along the shore
Climbing sand dunes, chasing crows
Piling up seashells,
Clustering their debris in the palm of our hands
Far from my arms he was,
Lands, seas, oceans ripped us apart
Squashed in a closed staring at the void
Lurking, weeding out baleful stares
****
His picture and I made one
Kneeling on my knees praying god I never forget his face
Mewling under the pillows, so that nobody could hear
My closet was my purgatory
Every year, coerced to watch him from the window
Crying rivers, seas, and oceans
Seeing him wave to me, a suitcase in his hand
I cooing, biding him goodbye
Him turning his face away,
Concealing his tears, sketching my picture for next year
****
My heart shattered into uncollectable pieces
My breath shortened, troubled
I thought crying could make one die,
Condone the soul to witness one final sublime
My brains evaporated, my heart in reign
A wink, I flit from the door
I jostled the air,
My feet no longer caress the ground
****
Flailed with the grim emptiness,
Time stopped,
Every cloud scudding froze
Every little dewdrop,
Every dragonfly,
I found no one, he was gone
****
Rapt with nothingness,
My heart stopped,
My tears froze,
My eyes dried,
All I could hear was a deafening silence,
And his voice singing my lullaby
On the ground, I drooped
Autumn, winter, spring I had to wait
To feel the impulse of his heart
****
Hitherto, I have his chemise,
A bottle of perfume,
My heart held it
The hourglass was inverted
I started counting the sand beads, drowsing on the pillow.